My family loves to travel. We like to travel together as a family of 4, and when we’re able, my husband & I love to travel alone. There’s nothing better than seeing things the way my kids see them. There’s also nothing worse than hearing the groans from the backseat as we tell them to turn off their screens & “enjoy the scenery!” But traveling during a pandemic is a little different.

Let The Adventure Begin

Recently, our family drove to Colorado, yes we drove through five different states while traveling during a pandemic! We made it to Richardson, TX, before we decided to stop. We took our masks, Clorox wipes, and Lysol sprays & checked into our hotel room around midnight. After spraying or wiping everything down and using our pillows, we all crashed.

The next morning, we stopped at a drive-through for breakfast, again being extra cautious & headed out of town for our first actual stop, Guthrie, OK. The husband has family there & it was nice to relax. My kids swam, ran around mask free, fished, rode four-wheelers (don’t worry, they wore helmets!), and enjoyed life without too many restraints. Our short time with family ended & we were back on the road!

Colorado Here We Come

We checked into hotel #2. Again with the Clorox & Lysol & masks. We even had to make an appointment for our family to swim in the indoor pool. It was just the 4 of us, and we got 1 hour only! Colorado Springs requested the public wear a mask, but it wasn’t mandatory. We spent two days in Colorado Springs & then drove for 2 hours to Breckenridge.

Once you arrived in Breckenridge, we checked into our Airbnb. We were provided with Clorox wipes there, so we didn’t have to use our own. There we hiked and enjoyed most of our time outdoors. We didn’t need a mask unless we were in town. Dining was open indoors or out, but we chose to dine al fresco every time, not because we were afraid of getting COVID, but because the weather was incredible and we didn’t want to waste a second it!

Enjoying The Sites

Two days later (are you noticing a trend?), we loaded up the car and kids yet again and drove five hours to a little box canyon called Ouray. After we ate lunch outside, we masked up and took a tour of the Bachelor Syracuse Mine. We went 1500 ft into the abandoned mine from the late 1800s, and once the tour finished, we panned for gold. We came up empty, but it was still fun.

Then we got back into the car and drove just a little farther to the town of Telluride. There, masks weren’t a choice but a MUST. When we checked into our hotel, we were given face masks, in case we’d made it this far without them, I guess, and Clorox wipes. We had to wear masks everywhere in town except if we were in our hotel room.

Shops were open, but very few people were allowed inside at once. I remember one place had a max of 15 people. When a store reached max capacity, they’d rope off the store until people left. Many restaurants, however, were still closed to the indoor dining. We chose outdoors because what southerner can resist 74-degree weather in July?!

Heading Home

Finally, after you guessed it… 2 days, we loaded up our rental car yet again & drove home! 3:43 am Mountain Time. Our goal was to make it to Tyler, Texas, before we stopped but decided to skip the hotel and drove straight home.

I wish I could tell you it was easy to travel during a pandemic, but with each state border crossed, our house, our bed, our four-legged family member seemed farther away. I had no idea that 7 out of the 20 hours spent on the road would be driving across Texas! If you did the math, you know we didn’t get home until around 12:45 Monday morning! I’m not sure if I’d ever attempt a 20-hour drive again because it took days to recover, but I would surely travel by car, with or without my kids, even while traveling during a pandemic again!

Just be prepared for plans to change, and don’t get disappointed if something you truly wanted to do wasn’t open. It may not turn out to be quite the adventure you’d hoped. Just make sure you know the rules and laws of the places you’re visiting!

PS: We pulled our masks down or off for photos only, and our photographers stood well over 6 ft. away from us!

To read more tips on travel, visit 6 Travel Tips when Traveling with the Family and Traveling with Tots.

Copywright 2020 by Magnolia Moms

In all my traveling, I’ve learned a few things about traveling with my kiddos.  I hope these things will help you in planning your next vacation with the family.

1. Pack extra clothes

First up, make sure they’ve got extra clothes especially undies. I HATE washing that stuff out in a hotel room sink! My husband will wash clothes while we’re away, but not me. I’m on vacation!  When traveling with kiddos sometimes accidents happen so you want to be sure they have plenty of clothes. I also try and make sure we’ve got a pullover, because even at the beach it can get chilly at night.  If you’re traveling to a destination where you will be walking outside a good bit, grab some inexpensive ponchos and throw in your bag just in case you get caught out in the rain.

2. Bring a first aid kit

You want to be sure you have the basics of a first aid kit with you. When traveling outside the United States, medicine that your family takes for minor ailments may not always be available and if it is, you are paying big bucks for it. I always pack children’s Tylenol, children’s Motrin, and adult Advil and Tylenol. Just be sure to have those different medicines that you know your family may need.

For some reason when we went to Disney World I had decided to pack a thermometer. I just had a feeling that it may come in handy and it ended up being a fantastic idea.  I’m so thankful I took it! My daughter got sick on that trip, and I was able to relay this information to our doctor at home. I had also packed various medicines so I was able to give her some relief until we got to an urgent care clinic to see a doctor. Unfortunately, the wait time to see a doctor rivaled that of the wait time for the new Disney Avatar Flight of Passage ride!  Insurance cards are also another important thing to pack for just that reason, now whether it’s an adults only or family trip, I always make sure I have our cards on hand.

3. Practice using an Uber

If you are not familiar or comfortable using Uber/Lyft or hailing a cab, then I suggest you practice before traveling.  It can be a bit intimidating if you’re having to learn how to do those things for the first time once you land at the airport. Download the app and practice around town if you must!  Order a Lyft/Uber to take you to pick up dinner one night, just so there’s no confusion. 

4. Order passports in plenty of time

If you’re traveling outside of the US, make sure you’ve gotten your kids passports if they don’t have them, and if you do, make sure they are still valid.  Passports are good every 5 years for minors under the age of 16. Applying for passports for kids isn’t easy or quick. Both you and your spouse must be present, and you need a copy of their social security cards, birth certificates along with the adult photo ID.  We will be visiting the British Virgin Islands while we’re away so passports were a necessary part of our trip. It’s a process, but worth it when you’re done. Be sure you plan to get passports in plenty of time before your trip. This is a very important step. Clink here to learn more about how to apply for a passport. https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/passports/how-apply.html

5. Have your Mary Poppins bag ready

If you’re traveling alone with younger kids, make sure you’ve got your Mary Poppins bag filled with toys they’ve never seen before to keep them interested and calm during the flight.  If you’re driving make sure you’ve got snacks that are within reach and plan safe spots for stopping to stretch and get out some energy! I also like Chic-fil- A because the restrooms are clean and there’s a play area! Travel games are fun and can be educational as well.

6. Know that it’s never perfect

Finally, don’t expect to have a vacation to go exactly the way you planned.  Our trip to Disney where my daughter got sick isn’t what I had in mind. I envisioned all of us loving all the rides, laughing, and enjoying our time together in the most magical place on earth.  Instead, the only thing my daughter took away from that trip was her being sick and missing out on SeaWorld. Last spring break we went snow skiing, my husband envisioned it to be all of us smiling as we whooshed down the slopes, drinking hot chocolate and loving every single minute of it.  That’s not what happened, and while nobody ended up sick one of us did have to be skied off the slopes with the twisted ankle.

Enjoy the moments together and learn to embrace the changes that inevitably will come. Learn to laugh when things don’t go the way you plan, because it’s those moments that will make up your stories you share around the supper table for years to come. 

Happy travels!

For more travel tips check out Peggy’s advice on traveling with tots.

Here’s what I’ve found works in my marriage:

1. Get out of your mom uniform every once in a while

I do, occasionally, get out of my mom uniform of sweat pants or leggings and put on actual clothes. I wash my hair, put on a little makeup and make sure my breath doesn’t smell like the spoon full of peanut butter I just finished eating before he walks in the door! Even adding a little lip gloss before I head home helps me fill refreshed after a long day.

2. No complaining for at least an hour.

We have made it a point not to complain as soon as the other has walked through the door. I HATE hearing about everything that has gone wrong as soon as I walk in the door, and I’m positive he feels the same way, so we wait a bit. By waiting and just having that time to chat, most of the time our complaint doesn’t seem to matter as much any more.

3. Find time to reconnect

The husband and I don’t always have the opportunity to go out as often as I would like, but we do find time at night to reconnect with one another. Talking over our day, sometimes discussing the kids, but usually not. I want to hear about him. I want to know his highs and lows of the day. He always humors me and listens to my daily stories as well! Thankfully, both of our kids are in school all day, so when things feel particularly crazy, we’ll meet for lunch or breakfast. 

4. We find time in the mornings to talk about the schedule for the day

Mornings are my favorite because the day hasn’t hit either of us yet. I still look tired from the previous day but he overlooks my exhaustion, just like I overlook the fact that he brings his own syrup! We find time, even if for a few minutes, to talk about our schedules and the kids for the day. Then we’re off to conquer the day with a kiss and I love you.

5. Make time for alone time

On the rare occasion grandparents do offer to keep our little ones, we go to dinner and then we’re home catching up on episodes of Jack Ryan we’ve missed! Sometimes it isn’t about where we go at all, but simply being together. Maybe it’s just putting the kids to bed and having a moment on the back porch with our favorite wine. Whatever it is, make it a priority. We are all guilty of being so busy we often don’t make time for the other person.

Sometimes in the quiet moments of life, I am reminded of why I married him in the first place. He’s been my person for a long time, nearly 20 years if I’m being honest, and he still gives me butterflies. 

The husband and I felt like our kids needed to see we still choose each other, even after 15 years! We also had someone there to photograph the event, but don’t worry, I didn’t wear white this time! We also decided that we would take an adults only getaway and leave the kids to enjoy the beach with the grandparents, aunts and uncles that came later in the week.

My husband, Josh, and I travel a far amount but usually we’ve got our kids or work people with us. We realized we haven’t really been alone in 5 years! Sure grandparents have kept them overnight every now again but when we’re home and kidless all the adult things still have to get done.

You know all those things like mowing the yard, climbing mounds of laundry, washing dishes, sweeping floors and on and on. There’s always something staring us in the face that needs to get done that prevents us from enjoying our kid-free time.

This trip however, was very different. I booked us a villa in St. John with a pool, that was probably too big for just the 2 of us but it was even more fabulous than the pictures. We rented a Jeep because nothing says late for supper like a taxi driver on island time! I even remembered to book us a day on a boat that took us to the British Virgin Islands where the Painkillers, banana benders and bushwhackers were free flowing & we weren’t in charge.

We ate dinner when we wanted in restaurants that didn’t have a play place, and I wasn’t getting up to take people to the potty. We talked and laughed until our cheeks hurt. After all of the stresses of life were melted away, I remembered why I married him all those years ago.

He’s funny. I enjoyed getting to know him again.

I loved having no cell phone service, eating at little places not many tourists knew about, and getting lost on our little island with him.

If its been a while since you took a trip with your spouse, I encourage you to go somewhere, even if it’s just a hotel stay in town… do it! Relearn your spouse. Ask what their dreams are, where they want to be in 5 years or keep it simple and ask where they want to go for dinner! Marriage is hard but if you put in the work, remind yourself why you got married to one another. Laugh until it hurts, talk until your voice is gone and don’t be afraid to get lost.

I tried so hard to look like I had it all together, but on the inside, I was falling apart.  I felt as though I was drowning.  I couldn’t be all the things I needed to be for my husband and our kids.  I cried silently in the shower after taking my kids to school, because I thought if people saw me cry, they’d see I was bruised.  I hid my heart from most everyone.

Then one night, I fell apart on a group of women I trust.  I also fell apart on my husband of 14 years.  They all saw past what I was working so hard to cover up.  I prayed, I sought Godly counsel, and finally decided I needed counseling.  In addition to seeking after God and His wisdom, I needed to find a safe place where I could lay completely open and exposed to someone who wasn’t going to pass judgment.  It was okay if I used “intense words” because I couldn’t find better ones.  I was okay if I cried or screamed a little bit or talked much more than I usually do, because I knew I needed some help.

Society has set impossible standards for everyone, especially women.  Not every meal has to be Pinterest worthy, your home doesn’t always have to be spotless, and your family doesn’t always have to look like a Christmas card!  Surround yourself with people and things that mean something to you, that tell your story.  You can’t fill up your spouse or your kids if your bucket is empty, so mamas, it’s okay to not be okay! It’s okay to ask for help.  It’s okay to raise the white flag of surrender and let someone know you’re at the end of yourself.  It’s okay to give your kid(s) a lunchable for dinner, because it’s all they want and it’s easy for you.  Find your tribe and talk to them.  Find your tribe and a therapist.  Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, turns out, it empowers you, and makes you strong.

On his birthday my mom, my kids and myself usually get together and have a spaghetti dinner.  My daddy was amazing at making spaghetti.  I still don’t know what he did to make it taste so great, maybe it was the love and time he took making it.  I remember his calling me into the kitchen and asking me to smell it and tell him what it needed.  I don’t know that he ever took my advice because I was just a kid, barely able to reach the stove in the beginning, but I loved being in the kitchen with him.  On his birthday, we’ll enjoy a slice of cheesecake and drink sweet tea, light ice of course. We’ll blow out candles and my kids let balloons go for “Grunky to catch in Heaven.”  Those were my Daddy’s favorite things. 

On Christmas he would always make pancakes, so that’s something I do with my own kids.  The 3 P’s… pajamas, presents, and pancakes.  I also watch A Christmas Story on repeat Christmas Day partially because I can see him rolling his eyes!  He HATED that movie.  Sometimes it’s the things that annoyed us the most that we miss the most.

Then comes the anniversary of his passing.  The first year my mom, aunt and myself went to Denny’s.  Not really my favorite but my Daddy loved it.  Then the next few years my mom and I have hopped around based on what we think he wouldn’t have liked!  We sit around and talk about how much he would have hated where we were and then we laugh. Not out of disrespect but because my Daddy was tough as leather sometimes and anything new or waiting in line wasn’t his thing.  He’d been known to leave doctor’s appointments if he felt like he’d waited too long!

And on Father’s Day, I long to see him. I long to hear his voice. I long to have his strong arms wrap around me with one of his big hugs. The first Father’s Day he was gone I went to his grave and took a plaque that had the kids hand prints on it. I talked to him about how they were growing and how we all missed him. I told him about how we were all doing and how life was so different without him. I left the plaque there and I haven’t been back. I felt close to him there, like he was near me, but now I know he was; he was in my heart where he will always be.

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy! I miss you and love you each and every day.

I, however, always saw myself having a large family, but after a pregnancy scare about 5 years ago, my husband “took one for the team” a few years ago.  It was also made even more sure when I was told I needed a partial hysterectomy.  I knew it was coming to be honest.  My doctor says he has let me go long enough.  Most women have joked at one time or another, wishing away their cycles because it comes while we’re on vacation or follows us to that party where our dresses may be a little tight. Once a month our lives are semi disrupted by this “gift” that makes us uniquely female.  But I have to be honest, I feel embarrassed by the fact that my body doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to.  Mother Nature didn’t get to gradually move me into menopause.  I am a woman, and while I know we are through having children, I am not convinced that desire to feel a baby kick me from the inside will ever fade.  I am grieving something that’s driven my crazy for nearly 30 years but also great joy in its absence.

The silver lining in this, I suppose, is that I will never have to carry a purse with those “just in case” tampons!