May has always been my favorite month. Since childhood, I have waited through April showers in anticipation of May flowers. The month of May presents both the end of Spring and the beginning of Summer break, giving Mississippians a special season all our own wherein the temperature is blissfully warm enough for Summer activities without being too hot. The grass is green and the flowers are blooming, yet the oppressive heat and humidity are mostly held at bay. You can actually lay out by the pool or go out on the Reservoir without feeling like you are melting. May is a beautiful month for hiking and picnicking by day, listening to the frogs and crickets in the evening, and star-watching at night. May is the month of our family’s annual beach trip and, of course, the month we celebrate mothers. This May will still be all of those lovely, sunny things, but, as I face my first Mother’s Day without my mother, this will also be a gray May.

As May approaches, a thousand emotions keep entering my heart, but a single word keeps
coming to mind –mama. The word “mama” is the same or similar across the world and in most languages. While its origins may stem from baby babble, the word “mama” (for those of us lucky enough) conjures up words like warmth, safety, and unconditional love.

Mama had a way with words.

Speaking of words, my Mama sure loved to use them. As a child, I saw her as a beautiful social butterfly. She would flitter around the room at a party or outside the church sanctuary, stopping to talk to each person. I would hide behind the skirt of her dress, shy and quiet, but watching in awe as she laughed and spoke to everyone with ease. When I was a teenager, sometimes all of Mama’s talking would embarrass me. She never met a stranger. On a shopping trip, my cheeks would grow red as Mom chatted up any and every cashier as if they had known each other forever.

I also watched Mama use her words for good during those years. She talked my siblings and me through many hard times, always knowing just what to say, and she did the same for many of our friends. As much as Mom loved talking, she knew how to keep a secret. I have friends who only confided in me now as adults how much my mom’s words helped them when we were younger.

Mom also used her words to go to bat for her kids or anyone she saw in need of help. Whether as PTA president or giving someone an earful if they crossed a line, her mama bear side would kick in when needed. Mom was always good at words of reassurance, too. Good heavens, she could build you up with her words! I could look my absolute worst and she’d swear I looked amazing, genuinely pointing out the beauty she saw. While she was good with words, she often didn’t even need them. It was her presence, her hug, her back tickles, or her reassuring smile that said more than words ever could.

A mother always giving to others.

As the years passed, Mom wasn’t as social as she used to be. Our family devoured all her time and energy…be it planning for, cooking at, and cleaning after family get-togethers or keeping her grandkids. She continued to use her voice, though –for singing to her grandchildren or reading them stories. She also used written words for things she was passionate about, especially God and His word. For years, she would send out daily devotions to extended family and friends.

She was our favorite weather woman, sending us emails and texts to start each day with a forecast update, including her cautious phrases like “wear layers” or “be careful”. As good as Mom was with words, she was also a great listener. For nearly my entire adult life, I called and talked to her every day.

As so often is the case with mothers, my mom was my best friend –even if I was not always hers. Mom gave, created, and cultivated an incredible one-sided friendship.

I would call her to vent, cry, or just blab about my day, my work, my problems, my kids, my life, but Mom rarely did the same. She listened and she advised. She was my biggest cheerleader, a true best friend, with no requirement or expectation of reciprocation. She was that for each of her three kids every single time we called her, and we called her often. And even though Mom surely grew weary of the calls from time to time, she always made time to talk.

In April 2020, when Mom started getting off the phone with us faster, we knew it wasn’t like her. She had missed her family so much since the Covid quarantine began just the month before. We were social distancing in an effort to keep Mom and Dad safe. We saw signs Mom was acting differently, but we assumed the change in her personality and decrease in chattiness was due to missing her grandbabies and feeling depressed. Then, my dad said, “Your mom isn’t talking much, and YOU KNOW that isn’t like her.”

One gray day in May

On a beautiful day during the first week of May 2020, Dad walked into the kitchen to find Mom, seemingly dazed and holding a knife in one hand and a lemon in the other. Mom couldn’t remember why she was standing there or what she had planned to do with that lemon. She was having trouble even speaking. Dad was alarmed. Had Mom had a series of strokes? Was this early Alzheimer’s or some form of dementia? Dad guided Mom to the car and they headed to St. Dominic’s emergency room wherein Mom was ultimately diagnosed with a glioblastoma (“GBM”), the most common but most complex, treatment-resistant, and deadliest type of brain tumor.

Things progressed quickly from there and we learned a lot over the next few days and weeks. Mom no longer acted like herself. Her tone was different. Her affect was flat. We no longer heard her normal cheery voice, and she no longer sang or read to the grandkids. Mom did not express much emotion, and she frequently had trouble finding the right words. Yet, in true Mom fashion, she still found a way to say a lot. You see, my Mama did not get diagnosed with brain cancer any ole time but did so during the month of May, which is brain tumor awareness month.

A philanthropist’s mission

Raising awareness about brain cancer was something near and dear to Mom’s heart as our
family lost our precious Natalie –Mom’s great niece– to Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma (“DIPG”), the deadliest childhood brain cancer, on October 11, 2019. Natalie was only 15 years old, and as the Lord would have it, my mom was there in the room as Natalie took her last breath. When Natalie died, Mom’s heart was broken. Mom hurt for her sister, Natalie’s grandmother. Mom cried for her niece, Natalie’s mother. We all ached for their entire family, but Mom’s health seemed to be fine at that time. None of us could have ever imagined it possible, but seven months after Natalie died due to a brain tumor, my sweet Mama, on the beautiful and sunny first week of May 2020, was also diagnosed with a brain tumor.

Five months, countless doctors, several treatments, two surgeries, and one long hospital stay later, Mom, like Natalie, passed away due to her brain tumor. I believe that Natalie was there to greet Mom as she stepped into Heaven just as Mom had been there when Natalie left this world to enter those gates.

Carrying on the mission – A Gray May.

May is still the warm and beautiful month I have always loved so dearly. It is also brain cancer awareness month, and that is another reason that, for me and my family, the month of May will be gray. I will “Go Gray In May” to raise awareness, increase funding, and support families like mine impacted by brain tumors. Named for “gray matter,” gray is the color to represent brain tumor awareness. According to the National Brain Tumor Society, “nearly 700,000 Americans are living with a brain tumor. And, many more will be diagnosed each year.

Brain tumors are deadly, and can strike men, women, and children at any time.” According to the American Brain Tumor Association, in the year 2021, “[m]ore than 84,000 people will be diagnosed with a primary brain tumor,” and “approximately 18,000 will die as a result of a primary malignant brain tumor.” The types of brain tumors that took Mom and Natalie, GBM and DIPG, are just two of the 120 different types of primary brain tumors.

This May, I will remember my Mom and honor the incredible mother she was. I urge you to hug your own mother extra tight this May and soak in every word she says. I will also remember beautiful Natalie, this May, as well as her Mama, my cousin Amanda, a mother who lost her baby girl to brain cancer and misses her every day.

The month of May is still beautiful, but brain cancer is ugly and awful and we are working to increase brain tumor awareness. So, this May, please support “Go Gray in May” to raise awareness about brain cancer and brain tumors. This movement and the hashtag #gograyinmay help individuals and families impacted by brain tumors to find resources, receive acknowledgement, feel supported, and retain hope. You can show your support by wearing gray throughout the month of May and by donating to brain tumor research. To learn more, to donate, or to help raise awareness, visit the National Brain Tumor Society, the American Brain Tumor Association, and/or The Gray Matters Foundation.

Bye I love you

Four simple little words that we don’t say nearly enough. So simple, yet so profound. It made me think of my own friends and how we try to always say “Bye. I love you” whenever we leave each other. Friends are the sisters that God made for us when we really need them. He picked them especially for each of us and placed them in our life at just the right moment for just the right reason. That is why we should never leave without turning back to say, “Bye I love you.”

A wave good-bye as I ran off to play.

I remember being a little girl and spending so many nights with my friend, Amy. We were thick as thieves, as they say. I lived for weekends at her house. So calm yet so fun. I didn’t have a care in the world when I was there. My own little oasis. She was an only child, and we were like sisters. We loved watching movies and playing at her grandparent’s house. My mom would drop me off, and as she backed out of that long driveway, I would wave and yell, “Bye I love you.” I knew I would have the best time and that she would be back to get me soon, but in the meantime, Amy and I would have the most amazing adventures in our own little world of make-believe.

The dreaded call came for us to go.

My grandmother had been fighting cancer for some time. We had gotten the call to come to the hospital quickly. At the time, I was only 13 years old. Most of the time I thought I was grown and knew it all, but that particular day I was just a little girl. Scared, naïve, and so unaware of the matters that awaited me. When we arrived the door to her room was open and I remember, it was so dark. She was lying there in bed, but it didn’t look like her at all and I was scared. I was so frighten to go inside.

I know my Dad wanted me too, but I just couldn’t; I just stood at the door. I didn’t want her to know how scared I was. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. She was such an incredible person. She created the most fantastic childhood memories for my cousins and me. I knew she was slipping away. I was old enough to realize that my life and many others would be changed forever because she would no longer be in it. As tears streamed down my face, I whispered, “Bye I love you,” and walked away.

Sometimes life doesn’t work out as you planned.

I had a vision of what my life would look like, but God has another. I woke up one morning and looked around, thinking, how did I get here? How did things crumble so fast? Then I realized they had been falling apart all along. Piece by piece, little by little, and I never even noticed. Maybe because I didn’t see it, or perhaps because I didn’t want to. But we had both been breaking off pieces of ourselves and each other for years. One day we were in love and happy, planning to start a family, and the next, standing face to face in front of our brand new home ending a twelve-year relationship. With tears in our eyes, both shaking from emotions we had never felt before, all we could say to one another was, “Bye I love you.”

But then unexpectedly, within time, another came along. He was everything I didn’t know I needed and everything I didn’t think I wanted. He was there, silently working and mending, and before long I realized, he had picked up the pieces. He had been putting them back together. I felt myself letting go and giving in. It was him all along that was putting in the work; he was mending my broken heart. Because he too would say, “Bye I love you.” only he would say it every. single. day.

And then.

Years later, as we walked our little girl to school on her very first day, hand in hand, so tiny and dear, she turned to wave and in a quite little voice said, “Bye I love you.”

Be sure to check out more of our stories on motherhood.

After seeing your daughter, Sarah Fuller, make history this weekend, I started doing a little research on her background. As one mother to another, I can only imagine how incredibly proud you must be.

I’m sure this weekend was a proud moment, but I’m not sure people know the success that Sarah has already achieved in her fairly short life.

Leading Vandy’s Women’s Soccer Team to an SEC Tournament Title.

Graduating with her undergrad and now working on her master’s.

The philanthropic work that she does and how she works to encourage young girls to follow their dreams.

And of course, I’m sure you were beaming with pride this weekend as she stepped onto the field to be the first woman to ever play in a Power 5 football game. Your little girl made history.

With boldness and strength comes naysays — people who feel compelled to tear down another. Today, I saw some terrible comments about your daughter, and I’ll leave out the details because I’m sure you have seen them already.

As a mother, I can’t imagine how horribly painful and scary those words must be to read about your own child. Yes, a strong, determined woman, but always your child. I want to tell you how terribly sorry I am that such threating words were said. I pray that you and Sarah both saw for every horrifying comment, there were 100 positive and encouraging ones.

Stepping outside the norm is intimidating to people.

It challenges their small minds and short-sightedness. It puts fear in them that they will be exposed for who they really are, mediocre. The words those men spoke were not only cruel and hateful but absolutely appalling, and I pray none of them have daughters of their own.

To say that behavior is absolutely disgusting is an understatement. When I read the comments, good and bad, I immediately thought of you. As a mother of two little girls myself, I just can’t imagine what a range of emotions you must have right now.

The Sarah Fuller plastered all over Sports Center, ESPN, USA Today, and every other major publication in this country, didn’t get where she is today alone. I thought about the hundreds of times you must have driven her to practices, packed snacks and water bottles, washed uniforms and bought new cleats. The amount of money spent on tournaments and hotel rooms. The thousands of miles driven for soccer and the many, many scraped knees you must have doctored.

For that, I want to say thank you. Thank you for raising a remarkable daughter that is an example to others. Thank you for opening the door for other little girls to break boundaries and redefine the norms. We’ve seen a lot of that this year.

Women making history and now we can add Sarah Fuller to the list.

And it’s these women, along with your daughter, that are leading the way for little girls like mine. I’m not sure my daughters quite understand what it means for Sarah Fuller to play football, a woman to have her own STEM show on Netflix, a woman to be appointed to the Supreme Court, or honestly, if they even understand what it means that we will now say Madame Vice President for the first time in history.

But one day, they will, and I pray they will do their part in redefining history on their own terms and in their own way. As I raise my own children, I will think about the mothers of all these women who have paved the way for others. All the sacrifices they made to raise the leaders of today.

You should be so proud, so very proud of Sarah and yourself. Don’t give the haters another thought; cling to all the mothers out there that are thinking and praying for you as your daughter is in the national spotlight right now. One day you’ll both look back on this time, and you’ll tell her children about “that time Mommy played football and along the way, inspired so many little girls to follow their own amazing dreams.”

For more stories about Motherhood, click here.

To read more about why women need to support each other instead of breaking down, check out Women Buildup Women.

Then my high school reunion began to unravel

The evening quickly went south for me, when I realized many of my classmates, especially a few of the women, hadn’t really changed at all. Don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that if we were speaking in terms of picking right back up where we left off in our friendships, but honestly, it felt like I was right back in high school. There were whispers about the guys’ girlfriends and wives, others in attendance, loud, rude statements about the people who didn’t show up, and even some nasty things said directly to people’s faces. I felt like I was 16 again, experiencing the crushing blows that some people’s words can leave on your psyche. My feelings were hurt that night. And I tried hard not to let it show.

I just wanted to come to the party, show off pictures of my kids, ask how others were doing, and enjoy the company of people I haven’t seen in almost ten years. Instead, I let those words sting, I said goodbye to my friends, and I left. I didn’t even go to the after-party, which I was really looking forward to. 

It made me take a more in-depth look at myself.

Am I the same way? I talk about people negatively, yes. I think we’re all guilty of that. And I don’t like it. I don’t have daughters, but many of those women in my class, do. What kind of examples are we setting for them in the future? I don’t need to tell any of you that being a teenage girl can be a stressful time in our lives, or even about parenting one. Are we fully prepared to get a call that our daughter is being bullied or that our daughter is the bully? We need to drop this “Look how much better I am than you” attitude. It’s even evident on our own social media pages that many of us are not kind to others, especially other women. When we disagree with others, we pick absolutely everything about them apart. We hurt feelings.

Can’t we just click the “LIKE” button.

We can’t just click “like,” or a react button without delivering a negative comment privately afterward. The time has come to leave the jerk responses in the past. We’ve faced enough in the last six months; we don’t need unwanted, unkind criticisms on top of it. If a woman goes through a significant life change or crisis, be supportive, in real life, and online. If a woman has had success, whether that be a wedding, a new job, a new baby, etc., congratulate her. She worked hard and deserved it. There’s beauty in kindness. And when women build up other women, amazing things can happen. Don’t miss an opportunity to be a supportive friend to someone who could really use it. 

In July of 1996, after two years of battling a rare disease, my dad passed away. He had been admitted in June after his health deteriorated and was placed on a transplant list. My dad was my hero, someone that was quiet yet goofy, caring but strong. 

He never got to use the last Father’s Day gift I’d given him. 

Every year after that, I hated Father’s Day. That stupid Sunday in June was a slap in the face, a reminder of what I didn’t have.

Even as I coped and grieved and grew, Father’s Day still came around and always dragged out anger and sadness. I was jealous of friends that celebrated their dads, wallowing in moments I would never have. It was sad being reminded of how he’d never see me graduate school, walk me down the aisle at my wedding or meet any potential grandchildren.

Being fatherless wasn’t as glamorous as superheroes and Disney princesses made it out to be.

Nearly twenty years passed. I got married and started my own family. Then something strange happened. Father’s Day was around the corner and I had a three month old little boy. And for the first time, I was looking forward to celebrating.

I set up a little photo shoot of my husband and son to celebrate my husband’s first Father’s Day. He received a simple gift, we went to lunch where he wanted and had an all around pleasant day.

Throughout the day, I briefly thought of my own dad, how much I missed him and how I wished he could meet his grandson, and then I moved on. It suddenly wasn’t about me anymore, it was about this new dad and his child and their relationship. I was merely a facilitator in their day.

And that’s how it began; a slow embrace of Father’s Day.

I shifted focus from what I was lacking over to all that I had. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and took the day to celebrate what an amazing dad my husband was. My kids are so insanely lucky to have him, just like I was was lucky to have my father, even for a short time.

I make sure my sons celebrate their dad because he’s earned it.

Last year, Father’s Day came full circle when I gave a classic truck that once belonged to my dad to my husband to restore and drive and share with our sons.

And I always take a moment to remember my dad and still feel that little stab of sadness but it doesn’t sting as viciously as it once did. So for now, Father’s Day is another holiday I look forward to each year.

Park It

Start simple: picnic in the park. Getting food to go has never been easier and parks are finally starting to reopen. Grab some dinner, anything from upscale and pricey to cheap deli sandwiches, and find some green space. Take a blanket in case there isn’t a bench or picnic table to eat on. When you’re done (and have appropriately disposed of your trash) go for a stroll. Find a path, trail or sidewalk and wander around. Fresh air does a relationship good.

Get Sporty

If you and your partner are some of those gross “athletic” people, get out and play something one-on-one. Take whatever sports equipment you have on hand and go play a game. Find a basketball goal and play a game of HORSE or depending on how competitive you are, HIPPOPOTAMUS. Kick a soccer ball around. Visit the batting cages. Go to the driving range or tennis court. Just make sure that some fun competition doesn’t cause a date to turn sour.

A Night Out In

Maybe you want a night in? Just take that “night in” out. Grilling some steaks and hanging by a fire pit make a great evening. If you’re feeling particularly adventurous and have a tent, set up camp in the backyard. Project a movie on to the side of the house or watch on an iPad while you snuggle like little bunnies. 

Out in a Crowd

One day, there will be festivals again. And those make for excellent outdoor dates. Whether it’s a street market, craft fair, music festival or outdoor food competition, these events make for fabulous dates. Grab some food on a stick, try a little shopping or watch a band. The people-watching alone usually makes for a great time.

Day Tripper

If you’ve got all day and nothing to do, a day trip out of town is a great option. Try to keep your drive to under three hours so don’t spend all day in the car. Go visit a nearby college town and walk the campus. Or explore a state park that has lots of nature to explore. Wander around a different city or if it’s close enough, hit up the beach. And if nothing else, you and your partner will get lots of quality time in the car.

Breaking and Entering

Now this last idea is a personal favorite of mine and my husband’s. We like to find neighborhoods with lots of new houses being constructed and roam the empty houses. For couples that don’t live together, this is a great way to get an idea of your partner’s housing tastes. Or just a fun way to mock some architectural choices. Just make sure to check out houses that are being built, not ones that are occupied. Going to jail is not a good way to end a date.

But for whatever reason, I don’t have that one person who fits the typical “best friend” mold. Maybe it’s because I hold the title of “best friend” as a sacred honor and will only award it to the most deserving candidate (when I told my husband I don’t have a best friend he replied “wow thanks.” He truly is my number 1, but only for today I’m excluding him from the equation). Maybe it’s because I am very careful about who I share my most intimate thoughts and fears with. Maybe it’s because my views of true friendship are old school and old-fashioned. 

Or, perhaps it’s because I choose not to rank my friends. If I have a relationship with someone, I value that person and what they pour into my life. It doesn’t matter if I see them once a month or daily. I love and appreciate all my friends.

I do have friends who have shone brighter than others during different periods of my life, and of those friends there are a few who rise above the rest. The cream of the crop. The ones I could call “the best of my friends.” For literary sake, I’ll drop the drama and just go with “best friends.” 

Best Friends

Best friends aren’t affected by time or distance. Best friends can pick up on a conversation from a week ago and carry on like they haven’t missed a beat. Best friends aren’t the ones who need constant attention and affirmation. Best friends are the ones who recognize a need long before it is verbalized. Best friends don’t sull up because you forgot to text back. Best friends don’t hold on to offense. Best friends don’t have requirements. They can sit in silence and know when to do so. Best friends aren’t afraid of tough conversations, and they know after the conversation is over they can each carry on the same but a little better than before. Best friends don’t need an invitation or an explanation. They love, and then they love some more. 

My Best Childhood Friend

The first of my best friendships goes back more years than I care to count. I still know her full name, childhood address and phone number. My kids know her from listening to my stories, and I still hug her mama every time I see her.

I don’t remember when our friendship started. I just remember her being there. She was always there. She was a constant friend to me as we grew up, and to a little girl who had little confidence, she was a life saver. I knew if I needed someone she would be there.

We fussed a few times, and we each had other friends. But we always had each other. Together, we survived braces, bangs and boys, and I think our young friendship was what taught me the value of having that one person you could always count on.

We grew up, and I moved north while she moved south, but I still have a deep love and appreciation for her and the role she played in my life for years. I can’t tell you what vehicle she drives today, but I can recount endless stories of church camps, cheer camps and late night phone calls until Marsha or Diane would holler “GET OFF THE PHONE!” from down the hall. I will always consider her one of my bests, and I’m thankful for the friendship we had as children.

The Stereotypical “Mom” Friend

When I was in high school I developed a deep friendship with my mama. There. I said it. My mama is one of my best friends. Years ago I thought all women were best friends with their moms, but I have learned I am one of few who have an actual friendship with their mother. Our friendship blossomed on our weekend trips to Hattiesburg. Mama would take my sister and me (and occasionally our baby brother) to Turtlecreek Mall almost every weekend. We wouldn’t always shop, but we would eat and spend time together.

The car rides were the most fun. We weren’t consumed with texting or social media. It was just us and the radio. We laughed and talked and sometimes cried and always ended the trip with a milkshake or some other snack. To a teenager, it was pretty close to perfection. I learned then that my absolute best interest was her main focus, and her love for me always anchored our relationship. She loved me, and I trusted her love. We had a few testy moments while I was growing up, but they were never terrible and never lasted very long.

She has so many qualities that made it easy to hold her close to my heart as I grew up, married and started a family of my own. She is fearless, confident and has a servant’s heart. She’s one of the funniest females I know, and she makes everyone feel welcomed when they are with her. We talk multiple times a day, and while that may not be the norm, I’m thankful that it is the norm for us.  

My Built-In Friend

I jokingly refer to my sister as my built-in friend. She’s always been there. Ever since I was 3. The truth is, we weren’t friends when we were younger. Sometimes, we don’t even like each other now. When we were kids she liked ball and outside, and I liked pretty things and not sweating. We were decent enough friends, and we became closer in high school/college. We borrowed each other’s clothes and even slept in the same bed until I got married and moved out.

Our friendship deepened when we married and years later, by complete surprise, realized we were both (and my sister-in-law) expecting. That was such a fun time, and having her experience pregnancy, birth and mothering right along with me grew our friendship by leaps and bounds. There are days when we disagree. We look almost identical on the outside but are quite different on the inside, and to complicate things even more, aging equals changing. Now she likes pretty things, and I’m too tired to care (insert crying, laughing emoji). She is a working mom, and I’m currently a stay at home mom. I think we appreciate each other, especially for our differences, but also for the level of comfort we have with each other.

I can say things to her I wouldn’t dare say to any of my other friends, and vice versa. If she needs to call me out, she does. If I need to call her out, I do. We don’t need fluff. And over the years we have learned to take those moments, reflect on them and move on. I know without a doubt she will cut someone if I need her to, and she knows the same for me. We’ve both experienced highs and lows individually and together, and one common denominator has always been each other. Sisters. 

My Grown-Up Friends

About 9 years ago I met a girl who is the friend I’ve always wanted to grow up and find. We were introduced by our husbands who “go way back.” She was kind and fun to talk to, but I totally discounted her as someone I could grow close to. She seemed reserved and quiet, and I sometimes don’t know when to shut up. We weren’t immediate friends, but years after our first meeting we found ourselves more and more frequently in one of our living rooms, hiding from our kids who would seek us out if our laughter grew too loud.

My heart was drawn to her because of the good she sees in everyone. She loves unequivocally and without question. Her patience seems unending, and her quick wit makes for lots of laughs when we are together. She moved (ironically enough, to my hometown) a year ago, and I miss her like it’s nobody’s business. We still talk often but not nearly often enough. The times I’ve seen her since she moved have been absolute medicine to my soul. The past year has shown me that two people can grow separately without growing apart, and she is one friend I hope to never outgrow.  

The Golden Standard Friend

Another dear, dear friend of mine came into my life just a few short years ago, and while our paths crossed right when we needed them to, I will always wish I would’ve known her sooner. We were introduced by another friend, and it turned out we were neighbors. It wasn’t until after she moved to the other side of town that we began to build our relationship. How I wish I would’ve taken advantage of us being neighbors!

She is the gold standard of friends— loyal, wise, tactfully honest and blessed with words. We both love The Office and hate coffee, and while our motherhood journeys appear different on the outside, we are very similar in the way we raise our families. She is the friend everyone would love to have, but selfishly, I will ask that you find your own version of her and leave mine alone. 

While these certainly aren’t all of the friends I cherish, they are the ones who are on my heart today.

Although we don’t realize it, we chose our friends based on what our hearts need. Describing my bests in words has made me realize the things I have loved in each of them are qualities I want for my own life. The reliable presence, the confidence, the serving spirit, the steadfastness, the unequivocal love, the wisdom. I hope each of these ladies know what a treasure they are to me. And if I can’t possess those qualities myself or in the quantity I desire, the next best thing is a best friend. 

Be sure to check out our Best Friend Glamping Contest on Facebook.

They are probably the most overworked and underappreciated people on the planet. Can I get an amen? I think under the current circumstance we can all agree that our teachers are amazing human beings.

They work long hours, give up their free time to plan or grade papers, continue their education each year, have more meetings than we can even imagine, and likely attend events to support their school and students. Not to mention, have become pros at distance learning. Teachers do so much more than simply teach.

So, if you’re like me, when you choose a gift for a teacher, you want it to be perfect. And I want it to be something really special this year! Something that says, I see your hard work. I see your sacrifice. I see the many hats you wear each day.

From expensive teacher’s gifts, to simple gestures of kindness, there is an option for every budget when it comes to letting your child’s teacher know that you see their dedication and hard work, and boy oh boy, do you appreciate their efforts. 

The Many Hats of Teachers

Teachers wear more hats than you can even imagine. Not every student is an easy person to teach. Not every student has a perfect home life. Not every student has the ability to control their impulses. Teachers need to wear many hats in order to accommodate students. Teachers may be a disciplinarian one day, and a therapist the next.

In the lower grades, they often act as custodians, dealing with all the bodily functions from all the students. I’m sure any preschool teacher can tell you that they’ve wiped more sick noses, cleaned up more vomit, and helped with more bathroom breaks than the average bear.

Teachers often play the role of advocate, making sure all types of learners are excelling. They are nurses when our precious children get sick at school. I have literally seen my son’s teacher carry him piggy back around campus after he sprained his ankle. Now that is LOVE (I’m looking at you Ms. Davis)!

Teachers are bankers, collecting money for various schools events, fundraisers, and lunches. They are comedians, because sometimes you just have to be silly to engage those kids at the end of the day. They are librarians, confidantes, decorators (that cute classroom didn’t paint itself), friends, and even travel agents. Have you ever planned a field trip? Surely, we should start including commission on these adventures! Clearly, you can see why teachers deserve to be recognized and appreciated. 

The Art of Choosing a Teacher’s Gift

Have you ever looked for a gift for your child’s teacher and felt completely overwhelmed? Or do you have a “go to” gift that you give each year? Budget is not always an issue for everyone. For others, sticking to a budget is essential.

No matter where you fall on this scale, there is an option that will surely make your child’s teacher jump for joy. From picture frames to candles, gift cards, gift baskets, and homemade gifts, let’s explore what makes the perfect teacher gift. Gifts don’t have to be expensive. In fact, some of the best gifts I’ve ever given were inexpensive expressions from the heart.

I spent some time doing my research, and polled a ton of my teacher friends about what makes them squeal with delight when they unwrap a gift. Most agree that the simple thought makes them happy, but unwrapping something awesome really makes their heart soar. So let’s dive into finding the perfect gift for these angels on Earth!

Frames and Candles and Stationary, Oh My!

Frames, candles, and stationary are always a budget friendly option. If you are proactive like me, you are always on the hunt for super cute frames or candles on clearance to give my favorite people. Frames are always a budget friendly item, and can be paired with the cutest photo of your child and their teacher as a keepsake.

Candles are another fantastic option for a budget friendly gift. It’s probably best to make sure your child’s teacher isn’t allergic to fragrance ahead of this particular purchase. I generally stick with scents that are earthy and relaxing, like vanilla. Candles are the perfect gift to help your favorite teacher wind down after a long week. The best candles I’ve ever found always seem to come from the local boutiques in town. Shop local for candles, every time. You’ll find higher quality ingredients, and a product that has been thoroughly vetted.

Another budget friendly item that teachers crave is a good set of stationary. Budget friendly, you can personalize notepads with your school logo, your teacher’s name, or even  inspirational quotes. Add a little flair with a matching pen, and watch your teacher be wowed! You definitely can’t go wrong one or all of these items for your favorite teacher. If you have a lot of teachers you want to give gifts to, this will certainly help you stay within your budget. 

Gift Cards

If your budget is a bit more extensive, consider gift cards or baskets as a gift. I’ve never met a teacher who didn’t love a gift card or gift basket. A casual conversation over the course of the year, or a little “stalking” on social media can give you a good idea where your teacher likes to eat or shop. Since it’s been a while since your child’s teacher has been able to grab tacos at the local Mexican restaurant, it’s a safe bet that they will enjoy a gift card to their favorite Mexican restaurant.

Have you discovered that they are a shoe-a-holic? Grab a gift card to a local shoe store. Is your child’s teacher always sporting perfect make-up, despite dealing with 25 kids all day? An ipsy subscription may be right up their alley!

Personalized Gift Baskets

If you’re going for something a bit more personal. Consider putting together a teacher’s gift basket. Themed gift baskets take some thought and effort, but they are so worth it. If you know your child’s teacher is heading to the beach at some point, stock up on beach supplies throughout the year. Towels, sunscreen, a tacky novel, margarita mix, and flip flops would make a perfect gift basket for the beach lover.

Does your child’s teacher love movies? Try putting together a basket with DVDs, microwave popcorn, soda, candy, or even a gift card to the local movie theatre once they open again. There are so many terrific options to personalize a gift basket.

I recently had a teacher tell me that a parent gave her a gift basket of Tide, paper towels, Kleenex, and other household items that she really adored and appreciated. If your teacher loves to bake, you can find amazing cookie cutters, patterned rolling pins or even monogram oven mitts with your school logo. Cook books and silicone bakeware also make a great addition to this “love of baking” themed gift basket.

Homemade Teacher’s Gift

Don’t discount homemade gifts for your favorite teachers. Sometimes, these are the best gifts in the world, because they speak from the heart. I’ve heard several teacher friends rave about homemade cookies or pralines that they received from a parent.

I have given several hand made gifts to teachers over the years, including photographic projects that I made for fundraisers. Those gifts were always a lasting memory of the school year. I knew a parent once who created the most elaborate scrapbook for their child’s teacher. Those books were the talk of the elementary school!

While the thought of a scrapbook may overwhelm you, you can still make a lovely photo memory book using Shutterfly. I know someone who regularly posts the most beautiful photos of sunrise and sunset with a bible verse quoted under each photo. This inspired me to make a special Shutterfly book using her favorite verses and photos. While a bit time consuming, it was such a fun project if you are the creative type. If you aren’t creative, no worries, this website will make your memory book for you. Simply add photos! 

The Gift of Time

Another worthy teacher’s gift to consider is simply the gift of time. I know I for one will be happy to volunteer at the school more after experiencing life as a home school mom. Commit to coming to school once a month to read to students. Show up during lunch or recess to give your teacher a much needed break. Ask if you can come over to walk students to and from the library or music class once a month. Decorate a bulletin board every so often. You would be surprised how much these small gestures can regenerate a hard working teacher, and make them feel appreciated. 

Plants and Gardening Teacher Gifts

Gifts from the garden are not only thoughtful, but can last for years, reminding your favorite teacher that they are always loved and appreciated. One of my favorite “go to” gifts lately is a hanging glass ornament with succulents inside. Succulents require little care, and are just so lovely. There is a definite wow factor when the teacher pulls out this hanging flas globe of awesome.

A small herb garden is another great green gift to consider. Cilantro, Oregano, Lavender, Rosemary, and Basil make wonderful additions to the garden. They can easily be started from seeds and given in a window box type planter to add to the wow factor. Check your local nursery or florist for supplies.

If your teacher is into conservation, give them a tree to plant, or a tree planted in their honor by the Arbor Day Foundation. Plants and trees can last a lifetime, and yield wonderful benefits to your health. 

Gratitude is the Perfect Teacher’s Gift

There are so many wonderful gifts that work for any budget on this list. Go out and support your teacher today! They say teaching is a thankless job, but I wholeheartedly disagree with this assessment. Teachers leave a lasting impression on your child’s heart and soul. When a teacher loves your child, it makes an impression on your soul as well.

The impact teachers have on our children are priceless. It’s heart warming to see our children show gratitude to their teachers by giving them the perfect teacher’s gift. Much like one student did in your article, Life Lessons I Learned my Senior Year.

My children have been blessed with so many wonderful teachers over the years. Teachers who held my hand through learning differences and an autism diagnosis. Teachers who prayed as hard as we did when our littlest person was tested for leukemia (negative, praise God). Teachers who piggy backed the kid with the sprained ankle across campus all week. Teachers I am forever thankful for.

I hope this post inspires you to go out and show the special teachers in your child’s life just how much you appreciate all of their hard work and dedication, not only your child, but to the hundreds of children they will mentor throughout their career.

Cue Elton John’s “Can You Feel the Love” because that is exactly how I feel about this amazing group of people who care for my kids each day.

“I’m grateful for this quarantined time that has taught me more than a classroom ever could.”

On my 17th birthday, one of my best friends and biggest role models sent me a link to a list of 75 lessons she learned in high school. She shared them with me to encourage and guide me through my last year of high school. Her actions challenged and inspired me to write a list of my own. We never imagined a global pandemic allowing only three quarters in the school building as part of my senior year, but tonight as I finished this list by adding my last few truths, I’m grateful for this quarantined time that has taught me more than a classroom ever could.

I’m for sure not the wisest person, and I still don’t quite have this whole “life” thing figured out. However, I’m so grateful for the lessons I’ve learned. While I know they may not fully apply to you because these are my personal truths, but I felt compelled to share.

“Soak in the sight of your favorite teacher standing outside of her classroom waving and smiling at you.”

To the underclassmen, the next time you walk into the doors of your school, please soak it in. Soak in the smell of the freshly cleaned floors. Soak in the sound of a thousand teenagers talking and laughing. Soak in the sight of your favorite teacher standing outside of her classroom waving and smiling at you. Soak in the touch of receiving a hard-earned “A” on an assignment. Soak in the taste of that same boring school lunch your mom keeps making you. You never know when the last time you see her packing it will be. Lastly, soak in these months of seeing everyone of your friends all in one place. Soon enough you will part ways. Take all the pictures and videos possible, write down some of your best days, and don’t let anyone stop you from having a good time!!

80 Life Lessons from a High School Senior

1. The cream always rises to the top.
2. It’s not awkward if you don’t make it awkward.
3. Always have an “It is well” mindset. “Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well with my soul.”
4. God’s love is better than all the others. He is a love like no other.
5. Joy is a choice. You have to make an effort to be joyful sometimes.
6. If it’s meant to be, it will be.
7. Numbers don’t define you. Grades don’t define you. Votes don’t define you. God defines you. Until you learn this truth, high school will be a struggle.
8. You reap what you sow. AKA: you get out whatever you put in. This applies to any situation.
9. When it comes to boys and relationships, trust your worth for someone worth your trust.

10. You may not have what you have right now tomorrow. Cherish it.

11. If you don’t know what to do, pull into the church parking lot and pray at the foot of the cross.
12. There are people you haven’t met yet who will love you.
13. Trust God always. In every season. In every moment. Don’t doubt his power. Don’t doubt his love. Don’t doubt his faithfulness.
14. Your parents are and will always be your biggest fans. They always believe in you.

15. Your siblings are and will always be your best advocates. They always support you.
16. Bad moments don’t make a bad day, and bad days don’t make a bad week. Get past it and move on.
17. Find your girl gang and stick to them. Make time for them. Be there for them. They will be bridesmaids in your wedding one day.
18. But friend groups will change, and that’s okay.
19. Mood swings are normal. Hormones are normal. You’re not crazy, I swear.

20. Do what you want always. Don’t fear judgement. Be unapologetically yourself.

21. From Maggie McKinnis: “People will make fun of you for it, but stay innocent and naive. There are some things you just don’t need to know.” Be proud and be you!
22. Take pictures and videos any place, any time. Always capture moments to make them memories.
23. Don’t put people on a pedestal- EVER! People will always disappoint you.
24. Do what glorifies God. Walk worthy!
25. It’s okay to be scared, but do it anyway. Take risks and be bold.
26. Be spontaneous! Whether that’s going to the beach with your best friend on a whim or just an impromptu girls’ movie night on the couch, don’t think fun moments always have to be planned.
27. Life’s not fair. It just isn’t. The quicker you learn this, the better off you’ll be.
28. The valley teaches you a LOT more than the mountaintop does. As hard as it is, be grateful for the hard and disappointing seasons.
29. Be the girl who always goes the extra mile. Whether you are recognized for it or not, it means more.

30. Challenge yourself! Stretch yourself. Don’t take the easy way out. The hardest things are always the most rewarding.

31. Cliché but true: “Hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard.”
32. The sooner you learn how to handle peer pressure, the better off you’ll be.
33. Always put yourself in the best situation to succeed.
34. Stick to your gut. It‘s pretty much always right.
35. Always smile and say hey. A simple hello could be all someone needs to turn their day around.
36. Coffee is a lifesaver!!!

37. Don’t be surprised when girls flock to your ex the day after y’all break up. It’s normal. It’s life. Let them have your leftovers. 
38. There is strength in vulnerability. (Took me a while to learn this one, but I’m so grateful I did.)
39. It’s totally okay to not have senioritis. It’s totally okay to love high school and never want to leave. You’ll be grateful you didn’t wish it away when so many others did.

40. You’re not perfect, and you never will be. You’ll make mistakes. The important thing is that you learn from them.

41. Speak your mind. Stand up for yourself. Tell someone how you feel. If you don’t, nothing will change. You’ll never get what you want if you don’t say something.
42. Laugh at yourself. If you think Geronimo and Yosemite are hard to pronounce, you’re not alone. (Ask me about this one day)
43. Social media is a highlight reel. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.
44. Be the girl your younger self looked up to. Be the girl you want your future daughters to look up to.
45. Relationships can be great. Junior Year Homecoming date may turn into many dates over a year later. However, do NOT sacrifice friendships for a relationship. Boys come and go, but girls last forever.
46. With that said, if he’s the right boy, he won’t make you sacrifice those friendships anyway.
47. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
48. When you get knocked down, get back up.
49. You are the sum of your 5 closest friends. Choose wisely.

50. Prayer works. Seriously don’t underestimate its power.

51. Don’t settle for anything less than the best. DO THE EXTRA CREDIT!!!
52. Compliment people! It makes you feel better than them.
53. Pick people who pick you. Don’t continue chasing someone who doesn’t want you.
54. The little things can bring you so much happiness. A new outfit. The dollar you find in your pocket. No homework! Find joy in the mundane.
55. Sometimes all you need to find is a heads up penny.
56. Your mom is your girl. No matter how annoying or mean or irrational you think she is sometimes, she is the realest one on your team.

57. Kill them with kindness.
58. Hug your grandparents every chance you get.
59. Your dad knows if the guy isn’t the one for you. Trust him.

71. Don’t let anyone with bad eyebrows tell you anything about life!
72. Everything is temporary. This world is not our home. We have a hope and an eternity with Jesus waiting for us. Keep that mindset.
73. Love people how you know you should: Unconditionally just as Jesus does.
74. Don’t be opposed to befriending girls in different grades and groups. 75. Believe in yourself when nobody else does. Prove everyone wrong.
76. People will always talk bad about you. Accept it and remember that there are others who love you.
77. “Nice guys finish last” may feel true sometimes, but don’t stop being good.
78. Stick up for the person being talked bad about in the group.
79. Always let your younger sibling crawl into your bed at 3 AM and fall asleep watching “Dance Moms” with you. Those opportunities are fleeting.

80. If Coronavirus hijacks your senior year and forces you to miss out on those special “lasts,” remind yourself of what it cannot take from you – your JOY! See Truth #5

The Magnolia Moms Team would like to thank Allie Grace Bell for being so brave to allow us to share her words with the world (or at least the group of moms that read our blog!) And to the Class of 2020, we are heartbroken for the loss and grief you must be feeling at this time. We wish you the very, very best in the year to come. May God bless you and hold you close as you move on to the next chapter of your life.

Here’s what I’ve found works in my marriage:

1. Get out of your mom uniform every once in a while

I do, occasionally, get out of my mom uniform of sweat pants or leggings and put on actual clothes. I wash my hair, put on a little makeup and make sure my breath doesn’t smell like the spoon full of peanut butter I just finished eating before he walks in the door! Even adding a little lip gloss before I head home helps me fill refreshed after a long day.

2. No complaining for at least an hour.

We have made it a point not to complain as soon as the other has walked through the door. I HATE hearing about everything that has gone wrong as soon as I walk in the door, and I’m positive he feels the same way, so we wait a bit. By waiting and just having that time to chat, most of the time our complaint doesn’t seem to matter as much any more.

3. Find time to reconnect

The husband and I don’t always have the opportunity to go out as often as I would like, but we do find time at night to reconnect with one another. Talking over our day, sometimes discussing the kids, but usually not. I want to hear about him. I want to know his highs and lows of the day. He always humors me and listens to my daily stories as well! Thankfully, both of our kids are in school all day, so when things feel particularly crazy, we’ll meet for lunch or breakfast. 

4. We find time in the mornings to talk about the schedule for the day

Mornings are my favorite because the day hasn’t hit either of us yet. I still look tired from the previous day but he overlooks my exhaustion, just like I overlook the fact that he brings his own syrup! We find time, even if for a few minutes, to talk about our schedules and the kids for the day. Then we’re off to conquer the day with a kiss and I love you.

5. Make time for alone time

On the rare occasion grandparents do offer to keep our little ones, we go to dinner and then we’re home catching up on episodes of Jack Ryan we’ve missed! Sometimes it isn’t about where we go at all, but simply being together. Maybe it’s just putting the kids to bed and having a moment on the back porch with our favorite wine. Whatever it is, make it a priority. We are all guilty of being so busy we often don’t make time for the other person.

Sometimes in the quiet moments of life, I am reminded of why I married him in the first place. He’s been my person for a long time, nearly 20 years if I’m being honest, and he still gives me butterflies.