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Your Child’s Heartache is Your Heartache

Emily Hunt — Thu, 16 Jan 2020 01:30:00 +0000

Seeing your child in emotional pain is a heartache I wasn’t prepared for. My oldest daughter, Lila, just turned 7 years old and she is experiencing her first heartbreak. Heartbreak is tough at any age, but for a 7 year old it’s a lot to deal with. This is one thing I wish someone had told me about before becoming a mother. So young and so full of all these different emotions. Fighting an internal battle of how to process them all.

I know this won’t be the last heartbreak she ever has. I wish it would be, but I know she will be faced with much more sadness, disappointment and heartbreak in her life. Just like I know her little heart will mend and she will start to feel better, but right now she is broken. So lost. This heartbreak isn’t over a boy, but a little girl named Payton, her very best first grade friend.

Two peas in a pod

Not long into the new school year, she came home talking about a little girl named Payton. “Pay Ton” as she pronounces it. All my husband and I heard about was Payton this and Payton that. We were thrilled she had a close friend. Payton is funny and silly. She laughs a lot and makes jokes. Where Lila is more reserved and shy. So, Payton seemed to be just what she needed. They were the perfect little pair.

Then one day Lila came home very upset saying Payton had to move. Her little heart was so heavy. Payton is more to Lila then just a school friend, she genuinely loves and cares for her. Over the course of the next few weeks, month as we prepared for Payton’s departure, we tried to talk about how she was feeling and reassure her that it was ok to be sad. It was ok to miss her friend. Encouraging her to cry if she needed to or to talk about it.

On Payton’s last day at school, we sat Lila down that morning and explained that this would be the last day Payton would be at school with her. Her little eyes welled up with tears, and she simply said in her own little way, “Ok, Mama.” I told her to go have the best day with Payton and be strong. Give Payton lots of hugs and let her know you will always be her special friend.

I was 13 all over again

You see when I was in the seventh grade, my best friend moved from Mississippi to Virginia where her family was originally from. We had been inseparable for the past four years and when she left my whole world shattered. The day Lila came home to tell me that Payton was moving, my heart sank. All those emotions came flooding back as I remembered my own heartache that I was experiencing when my dear friend Laura left. I couldn’t stop the tears because I had felt that same heartache once. So I held my sweet girl tight and prayed for her little heart to mend.

But my friend and I have a story unlike any other. We remained friends and visited every summer until we were grown and had children of our own. Even then we continued to visit and be there for each other for all of life’s events. We are now 44 years old. Two young girls that were separated at 13 worked to keep our friendship alive and growing. And a great big thank you to our parents for supporting and helping us.

Big emotions for a little girl

I don’t know what the future will hold for Lila and Payton, but right now my child is absolutely heartbroken. There is no other way to put it. Several days after Payton’s family had moved, Lila was just being a beast one night. She was so fussy and cranky. She wouldn’t say anything. All she would do was cry and whine. I was getting frustrated with her, very frustrated. I told her to go to bed that she needed some sleep. Later after she had fallen asleep I found a note by her bed that read, I miss you Payton. You were my friend. Right then it hit me, she was dealing with some big emotions that she just wasn’t able to put into words. And that’s absolutely breaking this mother’s heart.

You hurt for them, with them

I knew Lila would be sad and miss Payton terribly but one thing I wasn’t prepared for was what my heart would be doing through all of this; the heartache I would be feeling. My heart is breaking too. I am feeling so much sadness and pain, because my child is hurting so. Trust me, I’ve been through heartache. I’ve experienced disappointment and sadness so deep I didn’t know if my heart would ever heal, but it did. And I know hers will too one day.

But right now my child is in pain and as a mom, seeing your child in pain hurts deeply. It’s a deeper pain than I’ve ever known. A heartache I have no control over because it doesn’t belong to me. A pain I will have to endure until she smiles again. And she will smile again, I know.

But for right now, all I can do is just be. Just be there. Just be still. Just be present. Just be encouraging. Just be a shoulder. Just be a smile. Just be a sounding board. Just be a cozy hug.

Just be her Mama.

Parenting the Strong-Willed Child

Kelli Hood — Sat, 06 Oct 2018 03:40:41 +0000

President or Prison Gang?

Mothers, have you ever looked at your child and wondered, “he’s going to either be President of the United States or leader of his prison gang”. I myself am hoping for the former. If you’ve thought this then you are probably the mother of a strong -willed child. A no nonsense, my way or the highway, digging my heels into the ground child who has budding leadership skills rivaling the best CEOs in America. These kids can leave you feeling completely exhausted, flummoxed, and coughing up dust as they leave you in their tracks.

Feisty, spirited, and bossy are some of the words used to describe strong willed children. But what really constitutes a strong-willed child? Most toddlers and preschoolers are stubborn and head strong so what makes a strong-willed child different from the normal developmental stages that most children experience?

Buckle Up Buttercup

Strong-willed children are usually evident from the day they are born. It’s not an every- once- in- a -while characteristic. It is their personality. Hold on for the ride, because it’s a life long deal. Strong-willed kids are the kids who experience intense anger outbursts and will not hesitate to take it to the next level. They have difficulty tolerating stress and frustration and soon you will find them on the floor flailing, screaming, and pissed off at the world. But before you find yourself in complete despair over the fact that your kid is a pit bull on steroids, know that strong-willed children become some of the most successful adults the world has to offer. Allow me to explain.

World Changers

Strong-willed children, if you can buckle down through the stubborn and defiance and not be tempted to tame or discipline the spirit out of them, are leaders, not followers. This means that they will be less likely to follow peers down self-destructive paths; and hold on to their own values and morals without fear. They have a sense of integrity and will not be forced and persuaded into compliance over something they don’t believe in. They will not follow the status quo like sheep; but will question everything, even authority. Especially authority. This is a good thing because it creates an atmosphere of independent thinking and reasoning skills. They won’t be satisfied with simply being told to do something just for the sake of doing something. They will hold their own because they are also fiercely independent. This is a kid, once grown, you will not have to worry about if they have managed to channel all their strong will into a positive direction. Strong-willed children love to make their own rules and will eventually become adults who become pioneers, trail blazers and path makers. Their stubborn streak becomes tenacity. Their defiance becomes courage and they will fight for what they believe in. They learn to argue, hopefully, no longer with you, but for their beliefs. They are world changers.

So What Do I Do Until Then?

If you’ve ever heard of Aikido you know that it’s a martial arts technique that focuses on using your opponent’s momentum against them. Instead of meeting force with force, “you instead blend with your attacker and redirect the energy back to the attacker”

www.aaa-aikido.com

Avoid power struggles by not attending them every time your child invites you to one. Give them choices to help them channel that autonomy and fierce independence they desperately crave. Allow natural consequences to happen, within reason, because strong-willed children need to learn through experiences and their environment. Give them as much independence as you can over their own choices. PICK YOUR BATTLES should be the mantra of every parent of a strong-willed child. Personally, if my kid wants to pick out his own clothes, so be it. If he wants to wear his jacket in the middle of August, then go ahead. Every parent decides just what battles they are willing to fight and what battles they aren’t touching with a 39 ½ foot pole. The point is to allow your child as much independence over himself as possible. I’m not talking about free range parenting. I’m talking about creating an atmosphere of safety and nurture to allow your child to discover his boundaries safely. Listen to them, get down on their level and make eye contact with them. Hear their point of view even if it’s not yours. They want to be heard. They want to be able to save face when they know they’re wrong. Discipline through connection instead of attempting to force them to your will. They will fight you to the death and will not give in to you no matter what. At least not without some collateral damage. Remember, they are fighting for what they believe in even if it’s painting a marker mural on your wall or demanding M&Ms for dinner.

Little Dictator

My 4 year old son, Noah, has been affectionately nicknamed “boss baby.” He is my little general, issuing orders to his parents and older brother left and right. He laughs in the face of corporal punishment, but will lose his Sugar. Honey. Iced. Tea. if you put him in a time out. I’m considering calling a small country to see if they have an opening for the position of dictator. “Hello? Lichtenstein? I have a 4 year old boy who would love to take control of your country.” Giving him choices usually works unless he’s in a “I want nothing” mood to which I just step back and let him mull it over for a while. I tell him to let me know when he decides between the choices I’ve given him. I strive to understand him, to relate to him, and to appreciate the fact that if I can give him some direction, he will be an awesome adult one day. He is a no nonsense, I know what I want, I know when I want it, I want you to do this right now, little boy. We are working on “please”, “thank you”, “yes ma’am” and asking instead of ordering. It’s a process. Sometimes I lose my own Sugar. Honey. Iced. Tea. But we are a house big on forgiveness and chances. When he tells me that he’s upset with me and that if I do it again he’s putting me in time out, I say “Great! Mommy needs a time out! When can I start?” He’s not afraid to tell me anything and I hope to keep it that way. Hang in there, mamas. You’re raising world changers.

The Insiders Guide to the Great Mississippi River Balloon Race

Rachel Lott — Wed, 03 Oct 2018 23:28:54 +0000

The 33rd Great Mississippi River Balloon Race in Natchez, Mississippi kicks off October 19. The balloon race always reminds me of the start of Fall, not because of cooler temperatures, because that’s a rarity in the South. But, waking up, walking outside and seeing the sky covered in hot air balloons! First you see one or two. Then three and four! As a young girl, born and raised in Natchez, this sight was just magical to me. How in the world did these huge colorful giants float on air?

Friday, October 19, 2018

The festival kicks off on Friday evening at 6:00 p.m. and the first event you can enjoy is the balloon glow on the Bluff at Rosalie. You get to see, up close and personal, how these balloons work. The pilots set up their balloons, and 1-2-3, GLOW! It’s beautiful! Then, the grand finale – fireworks over the Mississippi River! And this is just the first night!

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Saturday is just as amazing. You’ve had a good night’s rest, and now it’s time to head back downtown. Go enjoy brunch at the Natchez Coffee Company or check out the espresso bar at Steampunk Coffee Roasters. Even stop by Fat Mama’s for one of their famous “knock-you-naked” margaritas!

The festival site opens at 11:00 a.m., and music begins at noon. I always love to go down to the festival site, pick our spot and set up our chairs and blankets. Then we grab lunch from one of the delicious food vendors. This is a festival, so of course you can find a funnel cake. Don’t act like you weren’t thinking it! Sit down, eat, relax and listen to the live music. Oh, and you need something to drink? No problem, there are soft drinks, water, beer, and a full-service bar available.

Something that was added a few years ago to the festival is BlufftoberFest. It’s an Oktoberfest biergarten featuring regional and local craft beers. It also has Oktoberfest-esque games and fun. I like to get a beer and watch. It’s totally entertaining!

The arts and crafts area is great to walk through and shop. I have found some of the most unique items I have ever seen. These vendors are from all over the South, so I always walk through to find that one unique item. You will want to be sure to take some time and check it out.

And there is plenty for the kiddos to do as well. A carnival, or as I refer to it as an ‘oh gracious, give me patience’ playground. I really think my children think it was brought for them. From a Ferris wheel to a Tilt A Whirl – it’s there. And yes, look out, your kid CAN come home with a goldfish! We usually grab an adult beverage and watch them ride and ride and ride. Don’t forget to get plenty of tickets!

Around 4:00 p.m., there is an afternoon flight. The perfect place to watch is the festival grounds. Go back to your spot and just wait for the balloons to fly over. Our boys love this! They yell hello to the pilots and they will wave back. They feel so special! See, our boys have been attending the balloon races every year of their lives, just like me. My family has attended every race since inception. If you ask them, they can tell you all about it. Why you should go, where you should sit, what are the hottest toys to buy from the vendors – usually the loudest and brightest toy.

Around 5:30, Irma Thomas, the Soul Queen of New Orleans, will take the stage. She’s a legend. Trust me on this. Take every bit of her awesomeness in. All hail the queen! www.irmathomas.com.

Saturday night, I’m usually exhausted and want to go home – ha! However, that is not the case for pretty much everyone else! The headliner for Saturday night is Anders Osborne. Amazing is an understatement. Rock and rhythm and blues – Check him out www.andersosborne.com. Dance, eat, and then head out to the downtown nightlife in Natchez. You’ll be glad you did!

Sunday, October 21, 2018

You made it! It’s Sunday. To most locals, this is their favorite day. Not because it’s over, but this is Sunday Funday. You went to church, had lunch, changed into your comfy clothes and headed down to listen to the music. Gates open at noon, music begins at 1:00 p.m. An added bonus, is the afternoon balloon flight. Wrapping up an eventful weekend, listening to great music, and watching the beautiful balloons overhead.

Check out www.natchezballoonrace.com. Buy your tickets, book your room, and we will see you the weekend of October 19^th!

Soggy Sweat Craft Beer and BBQ Festival

Emily Hunt — Mon, 10 Sep 2018 15:38:43 +0000

(Jackson, MS) –The Mississippi Brewers Guild (MBG) recently announced the inaugural Soggy Sweat Craft Beer & BBQ Festival is scheduled for Saturday, September 15 at Smith Park in downtown Jackson. The festival, exclusively celebrating craft beer made in Mississippi, will be the first of its kind. A collaborative Czech Style Pilsner brewed for the Mississippi Brewers Guild, Lucille: Drink’em on Down, is perfect for Mississippi summers and will be released at the event. Mississippi Craft Breweries will also create custom beer for the festival with samples available at brewery tents. Soggy Sweat gives beer manufacturers the opportunity to put their own spin on a festival beer with a BBQ element. Local BBQ enthusiasts will also be onsite creating their own delicious BBQ to pair with the newly created beer. Samples of the specialty firkin beer, Lucille: Drink’em on Down, and BBQ will be available until gone.

“We are excited to have the Soggy Sweat Festival where we can solely highlight our Mississippi breweries,” said Matthew McLaughlin, Executive Director of the Mississippi Brewers Guild. “For the past couple of years, we have held different Mississippi Brewers Guild events, however, we are excited to have a branded annual festival. Soggy Sweat gives our state breweries an opportunity to create specialty beers for the event as well as to have their popular brands onsite. It is going to be a great afternoon to enjoy the newly renovated Smith Park, listen to music, sample beer and BBQ, and enjoy Downtown Jackson.”

The name of the festival, Soggy Sweat Craft Beer & BBQ, is derived from the renowned speech given by Judge Noah S. “Soggy” Sweat, Jr., a judge, law professor and state representative about the repeal of prohibition. When asked if he was for or against prohibition and whiskey, he answered candidly about the different sides of alcohol and it’s effects. His speech termed the phrase “if-by-whiskey”.

The Soggy Sweat Craft Beer & BBQ Festival will feature live music by John Causey and the Jason Daniels Band, samples of festival created beer and BBQ, food trucks and beverages. The festival is scheduled for Saturday, September 15, 1:00 p.m. – 4:00 p.m. at Smith Park in Downtown Jackson. Advanced tickets are $20 per person and can be purchased at soggysweat.eventbrite.com. Event day tickets are $25 and can be purchased at the gate. Children are free and must be supervised by an adult. Proceeds benefit the Mississippi Brewers Guild. For more information about the Soggy Sweat event, visit facebook.com/mscraftbeer.

The Mississippi Brewers Guild is organized to promote, protect and further, in every lawful manner, the common interests of its members and the licensed brewing industry in Mississippi. The Mississippi Brewers Guild is a Mississippi non-profit corporation and exempt from federal income tax under Section 501(c)(6). The organization is comprised of brewers, vendors, retailers and craft beer enthusiasts focused on promoting Mississippi beer. To learn more about the Mississippi Brewers Guild, visit msbrewersguild.org.