Stress and anxiety. These two words are heard a lot. Generally, it’s in passing. We hear, “I’m so stressed about this presentation at work” or “I’m super anxious about…” These two words also have the power to bring us to our knees. They are hard to say out loud if it means others may think we’re weak or that “something is wrong with us.”
I tried so hard to look like I had it all together, but on the inside, I was falling apart. I felt as though I was drowning. I couldn’t be all the things I needed to be for my husband and our kids. I cried silently in the shower after taking my kids to school, because I thought if people saw me cry, they’d see I was bruised. I hid my heart from most everyone.
Then one night, I fell apart on a group of women I trust. I also fell apart on my husband of 14 years. They all saw past what I was working so hard to cover up. I prayed, I sought Godly counsel, and finally decided I needed counseling. In addition to seeking after God and His wisdom, I needed to find a safe place where I could lay completely open and exposed to someone who wasn’t going to pass judgment. It was okay if I used “intense words” because I couldn’t find better ones. I was okay if I cried or screamed a little bit or talked much more than I usually do, because I knew I needed some help.
Society has set impossible standards for everyone, especially women. Not every meal has to be Pinterest worthy, your home doesn’t always have to be spotless, and your family doesn’t always have to look like a Christmas card! Surround yourself with people and things that mean something to you, that tell your story. You can’t fill up your spouse or your kids if your bucket is empty, so mamas, it’s okay to not be okay! It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to raise the white flag of surrender and let someone know you’re at the end of yourself. It’s okay to give your kid(s) a lunchable for dinner, because it’s all they want and it’s easy for you. Find your tribe and talk to them. Find your tribe and a therapist. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, turns out, it empowers you, and makes you strong.