Have you ever splurged? Treated yourself to something nice, something expensive…really expensive?
My dear friend, Julie had been wanting a Louis Vuitton for years but let’s face it that’s not typically a purchase that you take lightly. Spending $1500 on a purse would seem extravagant, unnecessary to a lot of people. Maybe it is, but here’s the thing, who are we to judge? So, here’s how it all played out. Julie launched her own design firm business
about a year ago and it really took off. She works night and day, giving everything to her clients, carpooling her 9-year-old, playing hostess to the neighborhood kids, and let’s not forget the hubs. Like most of us she is a very busy working mom.
She was making a trip to the Atlanta Market with her friend Amy and Julie knew she would have an opportunity to purchase one at market if she could bring herself to spending that kind of money. One day right before Market I receive a text from Julie, “guess what I am going to get while I am at market?”
I’m thinking she must be getting something for her new interior design business.
“Design stuff? Furniture? A dress? Watch? Botox? WHAT?” I couldn’t image what she was so excited about.
“A Louis!”
“What?!?! No way! Good for you!”, I replied.
Yes, two grown women were discussing a purse like she had just won Designer of the Year, but in some ways it was a celebration of her arrival. She had worked so hard to grow her business and now she was in a place where she could afford one first, but more than that I knew that she felt like she deserved to treat herself, she deserved to splurge. And deserving she was!
The day came for the arrival of her “first born” Louis and there it was in all its glory. The pictures and experience posted on Facebook. I was so excited she did something for herself. See Julie lost her mother years ago to an unexpected heart attack. She said to me, “This was something my mother never had, something she would have never bought for herself and I wanted this.”
But then guess what happened?
Did you guess the “G” word? G-U-I-L-T?
If you did, surprisingly you guessed wrong. Julie didn’t feel guilt. She didn’t need to. Her child has everything she needs and wants, trust me! She gives freely to others of her time and money, she works hard so why would she need to feel guilty? What she felt was JUDGEMENT. Yep…that good ‘ole “J” word that happens to Mommas, but no one wants to
fess up! And guess who was flinging the judgement – MOMS! You know you do it. You were probably doing it reading this story. “Oh, sounds like 1st world problems to me!” Right? Were you thinking that? Why? Why do we feel the need to judge moms when we do things for ourselves? Why do we feel like a mom’s only job, joy, desire is her
children? We are women who enjoy nice things from time to time. We enjoy nice purses or shoes, we enjoy a girl’s night out, we enjoy going to the salon and spending way too much money on those dye jobs, but we do it. And yet, we judge each other.
Motherhood and being a woman in general is hard enough. Think of the added pressure we put on each other being under constant scrutiny of other moms, other women. It can honestly suck the joy out of things.
“What will people think?”
“I really don’t need this.”
“I could spend this money on my child.”
Your children have enough stuff! They are loved! They are spoiled! Give yourself permission to go ahead and love yourself, spoil yourself just once and while. It’s ok. Us moms will clap, high-five, do the happy dance for you, because YOU DESERVE IT!
